How to Face Your Deepest Fears by Wilberg Rivera 

What is your deepest fear? For me, it’s rejection. I have always avoided situations in which I wouldn’t have decisive control. In most of my pursuits the most important factor I need to determine a green light versus a hard stop is whether my fortunes would be up to someone else or a system. It’s important to understand your motivation for pursuing or saying yes to something. We need to feel comfortable and, in an environment, where we can be trusted to make those decisions. Still, there are situations where our judgement is clouded, and we turn to previously untapped levels of fear. We completely give in to that fear and ultimately learn to give up control to another decision-making authority. How do we overcome fear and give in to the possibilities of giving up control?

You must find an environment where you trust the decision-makers. If you’re not in a place where you can give up control, your potential will be limited, and you will be overwhelmed by persistent fear of the unknown. How do we come to trust our operating environment? First you must probe. You must have the conversations and find the answers to your questions. To get over fear, you can’t be afraid to find out the answers to the most important questions you have about your new environment. Having that first initial breakthrough is the most important part of overcoming fear. If you don’t breakthrough, you will live in perpetual discomfort, or worse, severe delusion. You must understand how decisions are made and who or what the vectors of your environment are immediately.

Then you must learn to let go and trust that you understand your environment enough to be part of the decision-making process. You will not get to the other side of fear without having a complete understanding of the inherent risks involved. You need to determine your best-case scenario and your worst-case scenario and mentally prepare for either outcome. You can’t always completely control your environment, but you can always control your response.

Finally, our biggest fear, no matter your environment, will always be failure tied to rejection. To be in the best position to accept failure you have experienced overcoming failure before; otherwise, you will fear failure and acceptance will become entrenched in every facet of your life. You must be willing to cross the threshold until you hit a wall or point of no return. You can’t live in a wishful thinking state of mind for the rest of your life. Eventually you have to grieve, accept it, and move on with your life. You have accepted that some things were never meant to be, and you must understand why and accept it to find alternatives.

It’s important to find an environment where you can make mistakes and come back from failure because you won’t be able to figure it out or move on to the next objective until you get over your mistakes and get the answers to your most important questions.